What I Learned in Yoga Philosophy…

To be honest, I encountered significant resistance and distraction over the last year of school and my spiritual practice. This course taught me to meet that resistance with questions to gain clarity and go inward.

Very recently, I had a full-time job in the tech industry. It was paying me a lot of money, but it was not in alignment at all. I joke now and say, "I sold my soul to a 9-5 office job," but that's exactly how it felt. Things I once enjoyed doing that made me feel whole and allowed for profound spiritual growth and connection had now been met with resistance and stagnation. I felt myself grasping at straws just to be connected as I had been before. To find scraps of magic and love for what once filled my soul full of light. I allowed this job to numb and block me almost entirely because that was the only way I could get through it. I told myself, "Keep my head down for a year, stack cash, pay off all my debts, then get out." I only made it ten months. I learned from Bhakti Yoga, "stay on your path, don't sway away from what this path can offer, but don't dwell if you do…just keep coming back." 

I asked myself what those ten months of my life have taught me. I did my best and managed to get through it the best way I knew how. I believe each job and each opportunity we take can be viewed as a teacher. We can learn new skills and experience new things. If not tangibly, indeed things within us that allow for growth and understanding. So, as rough as this job was, I learned I could always return to my spiritual practice. I learned a plethora of new marketing skills, and I learned deep patience. I learned how to hold space for colleagues who carried immense stress and stretched themselves thin yet couldn't say no to the man writing their checks. I became the office support human in a sense.

The second I quit, I felt the weight of the world come off my shoulders. I bought a one-way ticket to Mexico, where I am now slowly integrating the connection with myself and my soul again. These last few weeks of class, I connected. I listened. I loved diving deeper into understanding the eight limbs of yoga, specifically the Yamas and Niyamas.

The ones that resonate most are Ahimsa: nonviolence. Learning to love myself and meet myself with acceptance each day. "Learning to see with eyes of compassion means we have to learn to see and accept ourselves as what we are." Last week, I had a journal insight: "Healing the collective starts with healing ourselves. Coming together in unity (yoga), in love, and in peace. This unity all starts with loving ourselves and finding peace within. To make a shift in humanity, we need to go inward. Fill your cup first so that cup may overflow into those around you. It's a ripple effect. Start with what you can control and let the universe's magic do the rest."

Satya: truthfulness. Mostly with myself, learning to speak my truth and help guide others to express theirs. Like in the office, I helped a colleague set boundaries for his physical and mental health. He checked in recently and seemed more at peace within himself and may leave that job soon. Santosha: contentment. I learned to be content even in the most mundane of things, like that office job. Even when I numbed myself, I still found something to be grateful for. Being here in Mexico with nothing but inner work and connection to be done, I am more content than I have ever been. I used to think that word was bad. Contentment meant stagnation, but I've learned it means acceptance and gratitude for the current moment. It's "the ability to feel satisfied within the container of one's immediate experience…a sign we are at peace with where we are in this moment."

Svadhyaya: self-study. I had disconnected from this aspect until recently. I am diving into my practices and allowing them to flow in with surrender instead of resistance. I am beginning to love learning again and am excited to continue diving deeper on my inward journey. Most importantly, Ishvaripranadhana: to surrender to God. I wrote in my journal today, "I trust in God completely. Incredible opportunities are on their way to me. I no longer chase. I only attract. Whatever is meant for me will not pass me by. Whatever passes me by is not meant for me. I only say yes to the things that set my soul on fire. I call in things fully in alignment with my highest self. I am surrendering."

I have loved diving deeper into the eight limbs; I also took a few things from the recommended practices. I am reconnecting with my meditation practice (Dhyana), and I have made that my daily non-negotiable with myself. First thing in the morning, I practice in solitude with a twenty-minute guided meditation. I have noticed a transformation in my inner peace, happiness, and well-being in just ten days of consistently doing this. Consistency is key, and I plan to slowly integrate more Ayurvedic and yogic practices into my routines as they are met with flow and acceptance. Tapas has taught me to become more reliable and consistent with myself. I have lacked consistency in a significant way. I have learned that consistency, even in one small task, allows for a ripple effect on a grander scale. This is something I am working on each day. "To become aware of small patterns, be intentional with your word, and be realistic with yourself."

I understand all paths are interconnected and have learned to embrace whatever crosses my path. Whether dealing with a mundane job where I felt I lost a piece of my soul or experiencing a year of disconnect and resistance from these teachings and my practice, I understand it's all a part of the journey. This yoga philosophy class helped me gain clarity and re-established the connection to my spiritual journey once again. For that, I am grateful.

XX
Nicole